Stop Talking, Start Communicating: Counterintuitive Secrets to Success in Business and in Life, with a foreword by Martha Mendoza by Geoffrey Tumlin

Author:Geoffrey Tumlin [Tumlin, Geoffrey]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, pdf
Publisher: McGraw-Hill
Published: 2013-07-18T14:00:00+00:00

11

LET DIFFICULT PEOPLE WIN

STOP TRYING TO IMPOSE YOUR WILL ON TOUGH COMMUNICATORS

Richard “Tuff” Hedeman earned his nickname. He was a three-time world champion bull rider and one of the few people ever to successfully ride the powerful and notorious bull named Bodacious.1

Bodacious possessed an uncommon combination of power and unpredictability, and had a nasty habit of contorting in ways that other bulls wouldn’t or couldn’t. And as Tuff Hedeman learned, Bodacious had a few other tricks up his hoof to shake off cowboys who didn’t have the sense to let go after the first few seconds.

Hedeman first successfully rode Bodacious in 1993, staying on for the required eight seconds—an eternity on the back of Bodacious. Two years later, Hedeman drew Bodacious again at the professional bull-riding finals in Las Vegas. Shortly after leaving the chute, the bull lurched dramatically, whipping Hedeman backward and forward like a rag doll. Then Bodacious jerked backward at full speed, violently head-butting Hedeman and breaking his cheekbones into 11 pieces.2

In a television interview, Hedeman described the surgery and its aftermath with characteristic understatement: “It took about six and a half hours of reconstructive surgery and six titanium plates, and I can’t smell or taste anything, but I guess that comes in handy when there aren’t any good restaurants around.”3

Two months after the accident, with his face reconstructed, Tuff Hedeman drew Bodacious for the third time at the national rodeo finals. There was anticipation and some tension in the arena because Hedeman never backed down from a challenge—something that made him a fan favorite. But as the chute opened, before the bucking even began, Hedeman jumped off Bodacious and forfeited his turn.4 He quit before Bodacious started.

As Hedeman tipped his hat to the bull, the crowd responded to his decision with an ovation. Not long after, Bodacious—although still in his prime—was retired. The bull was simply too dangerous for anyone to ride.

Ride a Bull, Meet a Nurse

Communicating with some people is a lot like climbing on the back of Bodacious—the situation is impossible to control, and no matter how hard you try, you still may end up in the dirt.

People are difficult in a number of ways. Jane talks too much. Jim is incredibly stubborn. Uncle Billy loves to argue. Your client is moody. The table on the next page provides a menu of different types.

Whether they’re controlling, critical, or just cranky, the behaviors that make someone a difficult person present formidable barriers to productive and meaningful communication. Difficult people make we-based interpersonal communication extremely elusive, and sometimes downright impossible.

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